Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
