but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
