okay pat passed out under dana's car
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
