Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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