I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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