i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
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