Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
