just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
