There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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