Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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