did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
