When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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