I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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