Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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