haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
cat food counts as protein by the way
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
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