I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
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