we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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