Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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