i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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