he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
She has the best kind of daddy issues
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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