i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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