We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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