What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Randomize
