idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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