Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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