i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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