I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
