If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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