i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
