I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
you traded sex for a burrito?
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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