I want to have your abortion
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
