Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
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