that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
