what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
