I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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