i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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