did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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