he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
