What a fucking waste of an outfit
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
