I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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