dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
