So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
