i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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