Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
