I'm gonna have a badass scar
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
