Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Are we still banned from the library?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize
