Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Randomize
