I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
