i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
