i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Randomize
