Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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