the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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