there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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