YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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