IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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