The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
