why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
