i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Randomize
