So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I need to sanitize my soul.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
