There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
