apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
