what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
did you just send me my own nude
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
