Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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