If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
