I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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