There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
