brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
