i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
She's like a pop up book from hell.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Randomize
